Forty-Five Years Ago

 Forty-five years ago today, on a crisp, sunny Saturday, October 10, I took a walk that changed my life.  There, in the Presbyterian Church where I had attended since age 12, I took my Dad's arm (wondering how in the world I could leave this man I had loved all my life to go live with another man), and walked down the aisle toward my new life as Mrs. James Mitchell Wilson.

It had all come about so quickly (in some ways), even though we had been dating about two years.
A few weeks earlier (about 6 weeks), Jim was about to graduate from the SBI Academy, which was held at that time at the Institute of Government at Chapel Hill.  He preferred to stay closer to the western Piedmont or mountains of North Carolina, so he had requested any placement west of Raleigh.  Then he called me one night with the disappointing news that he was being assigned to New Bern, which was about as far east as they could assign him!  He knew nothing about the area, and I pointed out to him how close it was to the beach, about Tryon Palace being there, etc.  His reply was, "well, I don't think I want to go down there alone..." and hinted that he wanted me to go with him.  I  warned him not to say anything he didn't mean, to which he replied, "okay, but we will talk about it this weekend."

The next thing I knew, wedding plans were being rapidly thrown together.  He was graduating and would have to report to his assigned area by mid-October, so time was a premium. We went to Madison and picked out a diamond together.   Thanks to my Mom and Aunt Maxine, dresses for maids of honor were made in record time.  My beautician loaned me her wedding dress and veil.  The florist, which had attended church with my family for years, gave a discount on the flowers.  The dry cleaner cleaned the wedding dress for free. Since my minister couldn't work in counseling, Jim's former minister worked us in and talked at length with us about the seriousness of this decision.  The next few weeks were a whirlwind of activity with showers, cookouts, rehearsals, etc.  Electing to do a small reception with family and wedding party after the rehearsal, we were saving the cost and details of a big reception following the wedding. Jim's father had gone down to New Bern and arranged for a rental house, furnished, for us to move into.  My dad went with us with a rental truck to take what few furnishings etc. to the house.

The wedding was small but beautiful.  Fall flowers, attendants in shades of deep green or yellow, and beautiful weather contributed to the day.  In a rapid blur, the ceremony was over, and suddenly we were on our way to our honeymoon.  I had been somewhat sad that the annual fall trip to the mountains would be missed, but Jim surprised me with a trip to the mountains for the honeymoon.   Whether it was happiness or just an  especially beautiful fall, the few days were indeed special.

Staying at the Hotel Roanoke in Roanoke, Virginia, was an experience.  The next morning, as we were leaving the room to go to breakfast, we encountered one of the Shriners that had been convening in the hotel.  He hoped they had not disturbed us with their partying.  Jim embarassed me by replying, "It's okay -  we are newlyweds and didn't plan to sleep much any way."  Breakfast was at the grill across the street, which was frequented by the retired engineers from the Norfolk and Western Railroad.  We nearly choked to keep from laughing as they repeatedly commented on which train was coming in and whether it was on time or late.

After a couple of days touring caverns, riding along the mountain roads, and enjoying the fall weather, we stopped by and visited both sets of parents before heading to New Bern.  There the tone of our marriage was set right away when he was called in to work earlier than originally planned.  I would learn not to cook or plan anything without consulting with him from the first day there on. I would soon learn to do lots of things around the house by myself, learn to go places alone, and enjoy what time we had together.

 After a year or so, we began trying to start a family, which, it turned out, wasn't as easy as we anticipated.  By the time Jimmy was born we had been married nearly seven years, and that time included a move to Greenville, a miscarriage, and the loss of Jim's mother.

Sitting here tonight, thinking back on those events, it seems impossible that it was 45 years ago. 
Those years included various physical problems, the loss of Jim's father, my father,and a couple of beloved aunts, and a few weddings to attend.  Jim lived long enough to see Jimmy graduate college and attend one year of law school, and he, thankfully, had met and gotten to know Karla.  He would pass a few months after our 30th anniversary, so he was not around for their wedding.  Nor would be be around for the births of three darling little grand girls, who he would have spoiled worse than I do.
I guess the moral to all this musing is: cherish every day, for the time flies by more quickly than you know.